I learned how to drink champagne a while ago. But the way I like to drink champagne is I like to make what we call a Montana Cooler, where you buy a case of champagne and you take all the bottles out, and you take all the cardboard out, and you put a garbage bag inside of it, then you put all the bottles back in and then you cover it with ice, and then you wrap it up and you close it. And that will keep it all cold for a weekend and you can drink every single bottle. And the way I like to drink it in a big pint glass with ice. I fill it with ice and I pour the champagne in it, because champagne can never be too cold. And the problem people have with champagne is they drink it and they crash with it, because the sugar content is so high and you get really dehydrated. But if you can get the ice in it, you can drink it supremely cold and at the same time you’re getting the melting ice, so it’s like a hydration level, and you can stay at this great level for a whole weekend. You don’t want to crash. You want to keep that buzz, that bling, that smile.
God’s little practical joke on me—as an intellect who doesn’t like to read a lot—is like, I’ll say some superphilosophical shit, but I’ll say it the wrong way. I’ll use the wrong word, so it goes from being really special to completely retarded.
THIS SATANIC GODDAMN THING IS REAL AND I AM UNREASONABLY ANGRY ABOUT IT
seriously look at this awful thing
No no no no no no no.
I’m sorry, if you’re too stupid to make eggs in a pan, you don’t get to have a horrible egg-dog on a wooden stick like it’s some kind of carnival food. This product is a crime against gastronomy, and I want to find and destroy each and every example of it.
There is literally nothing appetizing about this either. WHO JUST EATS A HUNK OF HOT COOKED EGG LIKE THAT. WHAT THE FUCK, AMERICA.
Drew, I feel like you’d appreciate this. If you need me, I’ll be over here fighting my gag reflex.
I’m a Technology editor on Tumblr, and it istaking all of my self-control to not promote this in Tech, for the lulz.
AMERICA. FUCK YEAH.
The Story by Mobstr
This put a smile on my face. Continuing on from Mobstr’s “Playing With The Buff Man” series, The Story tells the tale of the on going dance between the artist and the so called “Buff Man” as they both fight for control over the wall.
Artists: | Website | [via: Vandalog]